i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize