imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
