As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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