Your dad touched me again.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
