I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
