I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
