just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
