i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
