I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
zippers are such a cool invention
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
