I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
