I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
