Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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