...so i touched it.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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