Need sex. Gaining weight.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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