Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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