P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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