their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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