do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
