god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
