i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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