it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
