dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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