My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
