the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
