im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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