Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
