Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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