susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
