we have officially lost it.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
