ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
