Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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