She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Are my feet made of real feet?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
