people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
