why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
