Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize