If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
This is classic penis vs brain.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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