Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
