I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
