If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
This is the high leading the old right now
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
