Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
