it wasn't lemon gatorade
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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