4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
