I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize