I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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