drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
