You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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