why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
