He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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