pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
