am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
