Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
