I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
