yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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