I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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