how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
