I'm passing your future prison.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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