went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
