Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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