if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
